Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
