You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
