Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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