he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I believe in your delicious
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
