What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
