Pants 0. Shit 1.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
