I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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