So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
