I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
