it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
one might say we're banned from that church
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
