brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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