U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
