i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
