so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
