It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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