I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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