he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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