Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He better not be in your backpack
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
