This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
