Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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