seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
