just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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