Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
