He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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