I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
