I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
