Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
