I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
