Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
