I could have mohawked her pubes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
