problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
