you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize