dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
