How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
