i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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