And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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