the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
