Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
please don't ironically join a cult
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