i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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