Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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