so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
