I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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