More tranny stories later!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
