She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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