Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
