Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize