I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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