And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
