Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize