there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
