Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
