its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
