I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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