if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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