you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there was a trapeze. enough said
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
