I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize