that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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