so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
is it fun? or sober?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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