U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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