Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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