Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why do cheetos always look like penises
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
