i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
