I hate all girls vehemently.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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