At least make sure they are 18
Why
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
