the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Randomize
