"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize