A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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