Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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