Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
