Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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