Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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