i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
